


The Burning Passion of Love and the Icy Sting of Hatred

by PlanetMe



Series: Hamilton One Shots [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: ALex did a bad, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Although thats not really that important, And neither will he honestly, Angst, She will never be satisfied, The Reynolds Pamphlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:40:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlanetMe/pseuds/PlanetMe
Summary: The first time Angelica Schuyler saw Alexander Hamilton was also the first time she felt flames burning steadily within her.





	The Burning Passion of Love and the Icy Sting of Hatred

The first time Angelica Schuyler saw Alexander Hamilton was also the first time she felt flames burning steadily within her. The feeling was unlike any she’d ever felt before, wild unpredictability, heat radiating all around. She could tell that the flames were threatening to engulf her, yet she was fully content to simply let them.

 

When she looked into his eyes the flames grew ever stronger, the heat almost unbearable, yet she didn’t want the feeling to leave. His eyes held such intelligence and she could tell that unlike most men of his age, Alexander Hamilton was not naïve.

 

The first words he spoke nearly made her knees buckle, the flames building up inside and nearly taking over, yet she just couldn’t bring herself to care because _Jesus_ , he could read her like an open book. It was almost as though she was under a veil and simply looking out through it because this was all so surreal. This was the kind of shit that happened in movies, not to girls like Angelica Schuyler. She could feel her flame burning bright and true as she practically floated away from him, and the feeling was down right intoxicating.

 

When she walked over to Eliza, although the flames on her gut didn’t fade Angelica felt another kind of warmth blossom inside of her, one that she was very familiar with. A soft pulsating heat spread throughout her chest as Angelica looked over her sisters face with fondness. She smiled softly as she looked at her sister’s eyes, which held a new fire that was suddenly very familiar. Angelica followed her sister’s helpless gaze all the over to the man who had made her burn brilliantly and for a moment Angelica’s heat seemed to dull.

 

Introducing Alexander to Eliza was a painful choice, but also one that was far too easy to make. Angelica _could_ have walked over to Alexander, had another conversation, exchanged numbers and felt her flame burn even hotter and brighter. But, she would also have to look at Eliza and watch, watch as her face fell and the flame, which had only just began to burn, extinguish. So when she grabbed Alexander by the arm and lead him over to Eliza, Angelica prepared herself, for she knew how painful it would be for her flame to go out, but she also knew that the pain of her own flame extinguishing wouldn’t even compare to the pain of watching her sister’s flame go out because Eliza’s happiness was more important than any flame.

 

But somehow it seemed to hurt even worse when her flame only grew stronger.

 

Watching her sister fall in love with Alexander was easy, Angelica could feel her own heart swell with warmth whenever her sister sent fire-filled gazes at each and every letter she received. Angelica didn’t think she would ever understand why Alexander insisted on writing physical letters when a keyboard was just so much more convenient. Although it didn’t really matter, because the letters weren’t meant for her, and she could still feel her flame dwindle a bit each time her letterbox was empty.

 

Watching Alexander fall for her sister was an excruciatingly painful experience that she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy. It was as though a forest-fire and a snowstorm had collided yet the fire refused to die and the storm refused to let up, it was a confusing icy hot experience. Inside Angelica was at a constant battle with no clear winner in a war that she didn’t even want to fight. But still, each time she spoke with Alexander she could always feel her flame burn just a little brighter and then the fight got so much worse.

 

The night Alexander and Eliza were wed, Angelica felt her flame burning as bright as it had the day Alex and her first met, the feeling made Angelica recoil in disgust at herself, pining after her sister’s husband. It was pathetic. Not knowing what else to do with herself, Angelica plastered on her best smile and gave a speech. Eliza teared up, her flame burning hot and her chest pulsing warm with love for her older sister. Alexander teared up as well, because just like the night they’d first met, he could read Angelica like an open book, and he felt a flame that hadn’t been around for months ignite.

 

When she moved to London Angelica was relieved, as sad as she was to leave behind her friends and family, she was hopeful. She was hopeful because for the first time in years she would be able to live without guilt. She was hopeful for a flame that had burned for far to long to finally go out. She was hopeful because she would be able to live with a nice enough husband in a comfortably sized house without the drama that being around Alexander promised, she would be content. When the first letter arrived, tears flowed freely and flames burned anew.

 

When Angelica came back to visit all guilt was swept away by the thought of final getting to see her sister and Alexander again after all this time. So, with a practically painful burn in her gut, and a pleasantly soft warmth on her chest Angelica knocked on the door, and was practically tackled in a hug from her sister. She smiled brightly and decided right there that anything complicated going on with her emotions would simply be forgotten for the duration of this trip, because all she wanted was to have a lovely vacation with her loved ones. Her insides seemed to curl and twist about when Alexander announced that he wouldn’t be joining them, he was just too busy. Angelica fought back the tears in her eyes and choked back the tears in the back of her throat, she had come all this way. She looked over at her sister’s hurt expression and decided once again that her sister didn’t need to get into an argument and urged Eliza to simply come along. It was fine. As they walked away, Angelica was almost disappointed that her gut still held a strong flame.

 

When Angelica read through the article online entitled “The Reynolds Pamphlet” she felt her flame die a bit. When she did her own research online, searching for a reason as to why he would do such a thing, let alone publish it and she came up with nothing, a new feeling that she couldn’t quite place formed alongside her ever-shrinking flame. She immediately packed her bags and booked the quickest flight to America.

 

When she first stepped into Alexander’s office, the very sight of him made her feel physically ill. She’d nearly laughed aloud when he, for some reason, believed that she had come from London to comfort _him._ She felt her lip curl in disgust when he tried to defend himself, claiming that it was necessary, an “Act of political sacrifice,” as he put it. As if he even knew the meaning of the word sacrifice. She left him without a flame and the new feeling only growing stronger.

 

When she found Eliza sitting on the floor, eyes vacant and with a pile of ashes, she felt her chest practically explode with warmth as she knelt beside her sister. When Eliza fell apart into harsh sobs, Angelica thought of Alexander and that new feeling in her gut grew stronger than any fire she’d ever felt before.

 

Cold and clear, sharp and dangerous, every though of Alexander made her insides freeze. Her flames having turned to ice, and the next time she saw him, her eyes that were once hot with the firey passion of love, were frigid having gone icy with the biting sting of hatred. But once again, Angelica just couldn’t quite bring herself to care.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first time writing proper angst so let me know how I did. Also, I've never even had as much as a crush so writing Angelica's feelings was really difficult so if you could let me know how I did that would be much appreciated! So if you liked it please leave kudos and comment because I literally get filled with so much joy when I see either of those two things, and if you didn't like it please let me know why so that I can improve in my future writing. Alright, later!


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